I Humiliated Myself in Front of My Ex Boyfriend! How to Salvage This Situation

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Published: 29th August 2012
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Is there anything more mortifying than making a fool of yourself in front of the ex boyfriend you still love? If you've done it, you're likely going to say it's the worst thing that can possibly happen to a woman. It's not, not in the big picture of life, but it is awful in the moment and in the days and weeks that follow. You naturally start thinking that he'll never forget what you've done or that he'll run for the hills as fast as he can never to speak with you again. It's likely not that bad at all. Depending on what you've done to humiliate yourself in front of your ex boyfriend, there's always a way to redeem yourself. It just takes time, insight and the right approach.

In the majority of cases when a woman feels she's humiliated herself in front of her ex it's because she's proclaimed her undying love to him and he's responded by saying he's not interested. Another common scenario is the woman who, in a desperate frenzy to recapture her ex boyfriend's attention, calls him repeatedly or sends him hundreds of text messages. If you've done either of these things, you can take some comfort in the knowledge that you're not alone. Many women before you have done the very same thing as have many women who will follow you. Emotions can make us do things we know aren't smart, but our hearts take the lead and before we know it, we've embarrassed ourselves and we deeply regret it.

Own Your Behavior and Accept the Emotional Consequences

As much as you'd love to undo the act that led to your humiliation, you can't. No amount of wishing, hoping or scheming is going to allow you to take back what you did. You've done it and now the best move you can possibly make is to own it. You have to accept that it's happened and that it may have temporarily changed how your ex boyfriend views you. Keep in mind that emotions can be very fluid and even though your ex may see you as someone he doesn't want to be around now, that can change in an instant if you take the right approach from today forward.

You must view this entire experience as one of a lesson learned. You realize how you feel now and that's important. It's the reminder of that feeling that will keep you from making the same mistake with your ex boyfriend in the future. He's not perfect either so don't allow your shame over humiliating yourself cloud that fact.

You can't take back what happened so it's best to let it go and look forward. Dwelling on what you did will only shine a spotlight on that and will make it impossible for you to interact with your ex boyfriend in any positive way. Realize that you've made a crucial mistake, let it go and look to the future.

Rise Above What You've Done and Show Him You've Changed

Obviously there's a benefit to apologizing to your ex boyfriend for your unsatisfactory behavior. It shows that you're mature enough to recognize your shortcomings. It also shines a very unwelcomed spotlight on an incident that you'd just as soon forget.

You need to weigh the benefit of offering amends versus trying to put the episode behind you. If you haven't spoken to your ex boyfriend about what has happened, consider not bringing it up in the future. He may be just as desirous as you are regarding leaving it all in the past.

If he has continually pointed out what you did to humiliate yourself, an apology is going to be necessary. Do it in a very direct and genuine way. Tell him that you wish what happened, hadn't, but you recognize your misstep and you've learned from it. This should be enough to show him that you don't want to drag this into your future and it's time to put it to rest.

Understand That a Person's View of Us Can Change in an Instant

You may be worried that your ex boyfriend will never see you the same after you humiliated yourself. The fact is that he's very likely to forget it if you invade his thoughts with much more positive interactions. By being mature and showing him that you refuse to be defined by what you did to embarrass yourself, he'll find himself wanting to focus on the improved you and not on the you that was humiliated in his presence.

If you focus on moving forward and leaving the past where it belongs, he will be forced to follow suit. He'll soon forget that uncomfortable interaction and he'll begin to see you as a strong woman who can get over even the most trying of circumstances.

You just need to believe in yourself and believe in the idea that humiliating yourself isn't the end of the world. It's the beginning of a life lesson that you will carry with you in any future relationship you will have with your ex as well as the rest of your life.

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